It's 10 PM. This is the time I am going to write.blog.eat. do everything in between i'm unable to do …

I've had quite a revelation in the last couple of hours.. Yesterday hubs went to the pedi with L alone..and i was expecting everything went smooth..she didn't have any concerns.. i already expected her to be <5% in height and weight..since i never even charted probably lol.

hubs did tell me everything went okay..but i think i just interpreted different when he said dr asked if she knew 5 words and he said no.. she said maybe L will need a speech pathologist…it was a bit of he caught a tilapia…and then down the telephone i caught a whale..

i knew before the visit knew that she was not saying as much as kids her age..but i kind of just attributed it to her not being around kids her age or in day care.

i'm glad that i kind of went overboard because it made me re-evaluate myself as a parent. i just want us to create an environment where she can be her full potential.  although the pedi never said she should know more..or this is abnormal at this month.. it made me really think about if we were doing everything we could

and we weren't.  i think what is worst is we were hindering her.. the worst guilt you can feel as a parent..

the biggest regret i have…and yes it's okay to have regrets..because u learn from them. and the heavy guilt i felt  is that we let her watch tv at a young age.  so we cut cold turkey yesterday. no TV. no iPad. no iPhone. no computer.  we used it at first just for car rides..because we had a ton of them 2.5 hours-sometimes longer.. i wish i never bought an iPad..

anyways i also posted that i was worried on Facebook…and have got a lot of peace of mind and pieces of advice to make us better parents.  i didn't know why i posted it..i guess an outlet..but it helped… people are great..got texts..messages..and good to know we are surrounded by good caring people..

so all in all it was a revelation not about L..about us as parents..trying to make it the best for L…which i guess is about L…

decided to re-open another blog – I think I have 10 already .. all with about one to five entries each…here is an example of some:

One in school:

SUNDAY, MAY 11, 2008

The only square block I have filled out on this Sunday's New York Cross word is:
__ John Rapper

One while I was pregnant with L:

FRIDAY, June 14, 2013

I have past the stages of you don't even look pregnant, the awkward stage of did she just eat too much, to the stage of random strangers touching my belly b/c for sure I am pregnant.

I even created one for our dog:

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2010

I need to know the effects of eating aluminum foil. How do people eat cookies without the foil???? I need opposable thumbs.

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This time I don’t think it will be much different, but at least I’m being realistic.  My goal will to have 5 entries in one year.  We are going through all the major life changes in a month.  We are having our 2^nd child, we are moving, both getting new jobs, new business, and finally bought a house.   I think if one of us changed our religion or gender it would complete the change chaotic package.

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Baby K arriving:   I am not mentally or physically ready.  I don’t even feel like I’ve been pregnant for 1 month.  But I’m very excited for her arrival.  I hope we are even better parents this time around but I’m pretty sure I forgot everything besides I need to feed her regularly and her poop looks very different in the first week..or was it month?   She has been good to me this pregnancy..although we didn’t find out until about the whole first trimester was done.  I remember when we first learned about L I think I was probably 1 week pregnant..yea one whole week.   I told Hubby, I’ve been gaining so much weight..like 7 lbs.   I checked 3 sticks and all + sign.  I wrapped up the pregnancy sticks into a present and that’s how he found out.  We called the OBGYN and made an appt.  They let us do an ultrasound and I remember seeing a yolk sac.  Hubs said..hunnie I don’t think that thing weighs 7 lbs.  lol  He thought when I was 1 week pregnant he would see an entire baby with hands feet..head..belly everything on the ultrasound.  I was like are you excited???? We are having a baby!!! And he said..yes..but I think technically right now we are having a yolk sac. Lol.

So come around when we see K in the ultrasound..we were shocked to see a real full baby that has been growing in my belly for 3 months unnoticed.  As far as the gender, we were really excited to have a girl..I found out with the new maternal blood test where it is 100% accurate.  The lady called me and said have the results..do you want me to mail it to you? Or tell you now? I was like tell me now! Because if I said mail it..i’d probably call you back in 5 minutes b/c the anticipation would get to me. Lol..she told me it was a girl and I cried in excitement.

New house:  I can’t believe..and my husband can’t believe that I finally could make a decision on buying a house.  I have severe furniture/large item commitment issues.  In grad school my apartment was furnished with two desks, one chair, a bed, and a 10 inch tube TV.  Yep. That’s it. For 2 years that’s how I lived in a 555 sq ft apt.  When I moved out my books weighed heavier than all my furniture put together.  

We finally took the plunge.  We went through a couple of questions (actually about 1000 questions, but the same 3 questions repeated over and over and over) To build or buy old?  To get something 5 year temporary and move or to buy something that seemed long term? Or my favorite: live in an apartment forever.